Was it a storm coming or was it Mario Cuomo?

I thought I heard a storm brewing yesterday, but it was just Mario Cuomo rolling over in his grave.

gdavidhoward.com

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Nothing gets past Robert Mueller (Satire)

One of the Covington, Kentucky high school kids, fourteen year old Johnny (we’ll just call him Johnny), great nephew of Roger Stone, is being pinned down in his room by Mueller’s Gestapo. Johnny has been grounded, for his own safety, due to threats the family has received. He’s been holed up in his room and instructed, by his parents, not to open the door for anyone. Mueller discovered that Johnny has a Russian pen pal, whom we’ll just call, Anatoly Blankovich, and Mueller wants copies of all correspondence Johnny has had with Anatoly. Andrew Weissmann, one of Mueller’s henchmen, wants to know how much these radical teenagers know about ‘smirking’ and whether either of them has ever ‘smirked’ at any Native Americans, including Elizabeth Warren. Mueller also wants to know if Johnny, or any of his classmates, had prior knowledge that Nick Sandmann was a ‘smirker’.

Johnny’s house is surrounded by four M1A2 tanks, Mueller has deployed 2 SEAL Teams inside the house, and snipers are setup in neighboring houses.

Johnny’s parents have assured the SEAL Team that the battle sounds they’re hearing from Johnny’s room is from “Deep Rock Galactic”, and Johnny will open his door as soon as he makes it to the next level.

 

(Satire) The reasons Pelosi opposes a physical barrier (fence)

REPORTER:  “Representative Pelosi, why are you so stubbornly opposed to a physical barrier on our southern border?”

PELOSI:  “Because a physical barrier isn’t necessary.”

REPORTER:  “Border agents who have to deal with this crisis every day say it is necessary and they need it badly.”

PELOSI:  “Well …. physical barriers are ineffective.”

REPORTER:  “Physical barriers have proven to be the most effective means of controlling our border.  In areas where we already have physical barriers illegal immigration and drug trafficking have been reduced by more than 90%.  Since a physical barrier is time tested and proven to be an effective and necessary means of securing our border and making Americans safer, why are you still opposing it?”

(Now, the REAL reason)

PELOSI:  “Because I hate Donald Trump.  I would rather have an open border and put Americans at risk than to let Donald Trump have a victory.”

“A lie repeated often enough becomes accepted truth.” 

“A lie repeated often enough becomes accepted truth.”
This axiom has been attributed to Vladimir Lenin, Joseph Goebbels, and Adolph Hitler; all were experts in propaganda, an essential element in political discord. The Democrat Socialists, the Media, and other TV talking heads have mastered the use of LIES and propaganda. They’re in such rigid lockstep they speak as one voice, all regurgitating the same exact verbiage as if they’re reading the same teleprompter.

It was decided a couple of years ago to label Trump a racist, knowing that if repeated often enough it would take root ; especially with the unthinking folks who parrot what they hear on liberal TV. The puppet masters knew once the LIE was accepted as truth, Trump’s supporters would be considered racists, as well.

Believing the ‘racist LIE’ is like crack to a person with Trump Derangement Syndrome. TDS is a serious mental disorder and we’re witnessing its wrath every day. The most recent examples of accute TDS are what happened in Covington, Kentucky and Nancy Pelosi’s unprecedented refusal to let the President of the United States deliver the traditional SOTU message.
gdavidhoward.com

 

Was it a smile or a smirk? (Satire)

Facial expression experts are studying the video of Nick Sandmann’s interaction with Native American Nathan Phillips. Facial Forensics expert Ima Prig reports that studying the video in slow motion reveals evidence not seen in real time. For instance, in slow motion, it discloses at one point, what appeared to be a subtle curl of the lip by Sandmann. A lip curl is an integral part of a smirk, and is considered the ultimate display of disrespect. There were also moments when the student appeared to frown, which is tantamount to punching someone in the face. Ima Prig will continue examining the video looking for other incriminating expressions, such as a glare, a grimace, or for what is known in Facial Forensics as a “long face”.

Rep. Ocasio-Cortez said, “If Nick Sandmann did, in fact, curl his lip, he should be fined Ten Zillion Dollars, sentenced to 5 years in prison, and be required to participate in least one powwow a year for the rest of his life.” Sen. Warren agreed, saying, “I’ll go get me a glass and drink to that.”
gdavidhoward.com
G Spot Satire

 

Student at Covington Catholic to face charges (Satire)

Nick Sandman, who stood facing Native American Nathan Phillips, will be charged with Inappropriate Smiling, First Degree Smirking, and failure to yield his personal space to Mr. Phillips.  All charges are misdemeanors and no jail time is expected.   

 P.S.  It should be noted that Nick Sandman has refused to apologize to Mr. Phillips and he feels no remorse for harassing the Native American in such a belligerent manner.

No more Toxic Masculinity for me!

I just got back from my test for toxic masculinity. Great news! I am toxic free. I still have a modicum of masculinity, but not a trace of toxicity. My level of masculinity is manageable and barely noticeable, unless I start to swagger. The most important thing is; no more anti-toxin classes will be required. As long as I remember not to swagger, I’m good to go out in public and socialize with other non-toxic people.

In Innocuous Masculinity 101 classes, they re-trained us in our walking styles, to assure we don’t swagger, or strut. They taught us a lot of things to do, like lifting our little finger off the wine glass, and holding it in the air while ‘sipping’, as opposed to ‘slurping’.

We even had controlled belch training, and extensive training on toxic flatulence. For example, when you feel one coming, start a sing-along. The best sing-along is The National Anthem. “The Star Spangled Banner” gets everyone scrambling to their feet and gives you an opportunity to stand up, which will make it much easier to “cut one”, completely unnoticed; that is, if you’re able to keep a straight face when you get to “bombs bursting in air”. I’ve tried other songs, such as “Ring of Fire”, “Thunder Road”, “Blowin’ in the Wind”, “Tutti Frutti”, and “Friends in Low Places”, but there are a couple of problems with those songs. First of all, not everyone knows the words, and I usually get tickled, start laughing and end up cutting an extra one. Whatever you do, don’t try the ‘one-cheek-sneak’. That lean is a dead give away. Start coughing, clearing your throat, or fake a big loud sneeze.
gdavidhoward.com
G Spot Satire