Slowly the Page Turns

It’s being reported that Senator Lindsey Graham is accusing Senator Elizabeth Warren of inappropriate behavior.  Graham claims Warren gave him a wedgy just minutes before a crucial vote on the ACA.  The Senator said that wasn’t the first time the Massachusetts Senator accosted him.  Earlier this past year, he claims she came up from behind and groped him; pinching his buttocks, and then a quick crotch-grab.  Other Senators have said Senator Warren has a reputation for being very “handsy”.  It was recently learned that Senator Warren’s Indian name was ‘Cunning Nymph’.

G. David Howard, Editor Fake News Network


Sexual Harassment Attorney Ad

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The Law Firm of Honkers Groins and Butts is ready to represent you if you have ever been groped, felt up, rubbed up against, ogled, complimented on your appearance, kissed, or touched by a member of the opposite sex; especially by a co-worker, a boss, a politician, or any person of stature or means. If you have ever been told a dirty joke by your boss, you may have a case. We specialize in suing celebrities.

Lawyers are standing by to take your call now. Call Honkers, Groins and Butts at 1-LETGOMYLEG.

‘For the peephole’.

The Myth about Rhodes Scholarships

The media continue to perpetuate the myth that the Rhodes Scholarship, according to the Associated Press, is the “most prestigious available to American students”. That phrase, “most prestigious available to American students”, in my opinion, is extremely misleading. The proper wording should be, “most prestigious available to left-leaning students. There is nothing prestigious about the Rhodes Scholarship. Based on my own research, it appears that Cecil Rhodes wanted the scholarship that bears his name to be awarded, specifically, to students who favor socialist principals; hence, the recipients are not necessarily the crème de la crème. Conservative students don’t stand a chance, yet the Rhodes committee boasts about the ‘diversity’ of Rhodes Scholars. How diverse can a group be if they are all of the same mind-set? Just sayin’……………

More Bad News for Al Franken

Sen. Al Franken, looking for a little relief from his problems in Washington, decided to spend the weekend at Disney World. Al became frustrated because he wasn’t tall enough to ride any of the rides, and decided to leave; but on his way out he stopped and tried to kiss Princess Rapunzel. Her hair became entangled in the Senator’s belt buckle, as he was trying to shimmy his way up her braid to reach her face. Security Guards removed the Senator’s belt and escorted the Munchkin from the premises. On his way out, he tried to cop a feel on a Lady Knight in full armor, stuck his tongue out at the Security Guards and shouted, “Dog-gone it, most people like me.”
G. David Howard, Editor Fake News Network

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If any of you are planning on attending my show at the Shell Factory, Nov 28th, please call them and make arrangements for tickets. Please don’t plan on just showing up that night without tickets.

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Jonathan Michael

Jonathan Michael · Friends with Wendy Beth Namack

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 · Reply · November 17 at 5:42pm


Albert Evans

Albert Evans I bought my ticket a few weeks ago. Actually, with the way their staff was so confused, I think I was the first person. I never got a “ticket”, just a receipt from the bar……going to be interesting. Now that I am an old geeeezer, can I complain?

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 · Reply · November 17 at 5:53pm


Bill Brouillette

Bill Brouillette I only wish Chris & I were able to make it.

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 · Reply · November 17 at 8:41pm


William C. Wilkinson

William C. Wilkinson I shared this to my wall and am looking for some friends to join me… see you there!!!

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 · Reply · 9 hrs


G. David Howard replied · 1 Reply


Tue 7:17 PM · Shell Factory · North Fort Myers
2 Going · 0 Interested
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Bogus Climate Claims

The highest temperature ever recorded in North America was at Death Valley, July 10, 1913.

Al Gore’s Grandfather Beau Gus Gore said the record heat was caused by farm animals’ flatulence and exhausts from Henry Ford’s new contraptions. In fact, Beau Gus wrote a play titled “An Inconvenient Toot”, which was performed by actors, in farm animal costumes, cavorting around the stage, farting and belching, while dodging Model T Fords tooting them out of the way. Critics said the play stunk, and it was canceled after just two performances. Folks, that was way back in 1913. So now you know.
G. David Howard, Chairman, Fake News Network

P.S. The temperature record is not fake, it’s real.

Recent Nationwide Survey on Sexual Harassment

A national survey conducted by Phew! Research found more than two dozen women who have come forward to report zero instances of sexual harassment, in their lifetime. These women wish to remain anonymous; however they are going to name specific non-offenders. They intend to identify the men, and women, who have failed to flirt with them, never asked for a sexual favor, and never even told them a dirty joke.

The non-offenders will be called to testify before a congressional committee. They will be under oath, and will have to explain, in detail, why they never hit on these particular women. Depending on their reasons, they could be charged with racism, sexism, fat-shaming, cacophobia, canklephobia, or bitchism.

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