Politically Incorrect Satire

I took my car in for a lube and oil change. The grease monkey said there was something loose around the right front fender. So, I was monkeying around with it after I got home. It was just a little piece of trim that came loose. I was able to fix it with Gorilla Glue. My wife gets excited when I’m successful at fixing something, so when I told her it was fixed, she went ape. I took a shower, put on my favorite coonskin cap and took her out to our favorite pub, The Drunken Baboon. She likes their Black Eyed Peas and Collard Greens, and I go for the Hot Brown or Southern Fried Chicken with Okra.

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Beware the Hate Inspectors

In case the hate inspectors would come looking, I cleared some incriminating stuff out of my garage today. I threw out my Gorilla Glue, two monkey wrenches, a coonskin cap, a Yankee screwdriver, a greaser, an old Jews harp, my jig saw, a spade, and all my Black and Decker stuff. I’ll sleep better when I get the wife to throw out the Aunt Jemima pancake mix and syrup.

If only we had an Attorney General

With what we know about Bruce Ohr, Nellie Ohr, Lisa Page, Peter Strzok, Andrew Weissmann, and a host of other dirty players, a real AG would have heads rolling and indictments out the wazoo.   The ersatz Attorney General Sessions doesn’t have both oars in the water, but could have two Ohrs in hot water immediately.

The Media are in “Hate-Heat”

After his primary victory, DeSantis said, “The last thing we need to do is to monkey this up by trying to embrace a socialist agenda with huge tax increases and bankrupting the state.” He made no personal reference to his opponent; only his agenda.

Only racists, or extreme partisans in Hate-Heat, would define DeSantis’ remark as racist.

Here is a short list of what I’ve seen today; one blatant LIE after another.

LIE #1. Front page of today’s Tampa Bay Times reported that DeSantis said, “Republicans and Floridians shouldn’t monkey this up by supporting Gillum.” That is NOT what DeSantis said.

LIE #2. Tampa Bay Times page 7A – DeSantis said, “Floridians shouldn’t monkey this up by supporting Democrat Andrew Gillum.” That is NOT what DeSantis said.

LIE #3. on ThinkProgress.org: “Just hours after winning, DeSantis made racist comments about Gillum, (no he didn’t) telling Fox News that voters shouldn’t “monkey this up” by electing his opponent.” That is NOT what DeSantis said.

LIE #4. ABC web site said, “Republican Rep. Ron DeSantis went on Fox News Wednesday morning to say the last thing Floridians should do is “monkey this up” by electing his African-American progressive opponent, Andrew Gillum.” That is NOT what DeSantis said.

LIE #5. CNN – Rep. Ron DeSantis said that voters would “monkey this up” if they elected his African-American opponent, Andrew Gillum to be governor because of his “socialist agenda.” That is NOT what DeSantis said.

Not one accurate quote. Now the media are demanding that DeSantis issue an apology. Really? For what? He should apologize for what the media falsely reported he said?  Apologize for things he didn’t say? 

The media should apologize for misquoting, editing, and taking DeSantis completely out of context. The media are like a bunch of jackals in heat, frothing at the mouth, pacing and panting, looking for anything they can edit, twist, or spin into bad news for President Trump and/or any of his allies. Just one word will do. They can take one word, add their own made up dialog, and claim a Republican said it. Once they put it out there, low information folks, and overzealous partisans, accept it as if it’s true, oblivious to the fact that the media are the most partisan and dishonest people on the planet; fools with forums used to be just for entertainment, but now there are fools who take fools seriously.

Remember Joe Biden said when talking about Barack Obama, “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.” In other words, Joe deemed it a ‘storybook’ because, according to Joe, articulate, bright, clean, and nice looking African-Americans are rare. Biden’s insult required no ‘editing’, and there was no media backlash, at all.

DeSantis said yesterday, “Gillum is an articulate spokesman for left wing policies.” According to Tampa Bay Times staff writer, Steve Contorno, the word “articulate’ has racial undertones. (Side note: Apparently the word “articulate” only has racial undertones when used by a Republican.)

Harry Reid described Obama as “a ‘light-skinned’ African American with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.” I don’t recall Reid’s statement getting any media attention.

Watching mainstream media is a lot like voyeurism; gawking at a bunch of low-life dregs of society in a freak show repeating each other’s lies.

The Left’s effort to amalgamate compassion and hate

Years ago liberals claimed to have an exclusive on ‘compassion’ and made clear their willingness to slap the snot out of any conservative showing signs of tender-heartedness. Now, the Libs are close to gaining a monopoly on ‘hate’. Wow, the libs owning hate AND compassion? Those two emotions are only compatible when equal amounts of ignorance and bias are added to their cauldron of ‘compassionate hatred’. The cauldron has to be stirred and the Liberals have an ample roster of ignorant biased compassionate haters willing to take turns stirring the pot, i.e., Maxine, Morning Joe, Madcow, Sharpton, Adam Schiftless, Sobbing Chuck, Nancy the Genius, Wahoo Warren, Chris ‘Thrill up-his-leg’ Matthews, Lying Lanny, James Comey, Pantsuit Hillary, Peter Strzoc, Robert Mueller, Rod Rosenstein, Whoopi, Joy Behar, Colbert, Kimmel, and ad regurgitum.

Presidential Pardon = No Incriminating Trump Story (Beware of the snake that doesn’t hiss)

Lanny Davis has long been in the tank for Clinton, and is dedicated to bringing Trump down. Destroying Trump is his mission and his highest calling; to hell with Michael Cohen. He said on TV last night that he would not allow his client (Cohen) to accept a Presidential pardon. Who the hell would refuse a pardon? Is Lanny’s advice in the best interest of his client? Absolutely not; then why would he take such a position? Here’s why: If Cohen were to accept a Presidential pardon; (a) He would no longer need Lanny Davis, and more importantly (b) Mueller would lose his ‘squeezing’ leverage; which means Cohen wouldn’t have to make up an incriminating story about Trump in order to avoid prison time. I would bet Lanny Davis will be the author of the lie Cohen will swear to, and he’s already in the process of procuring hired corroborators and manufacturing evidence.

Lanny Davis is a serpent of the lowest order.

This just in? Recorded conversation between Muleface and a member of his hit team.

Muleface: Since we haven’t found any evidence of collusion between the President and the Russians, do we have any evidence of misuse of campaign funds?

Hitman: Yes sir, we have hard evidence of campaign funds being paid to a foreign government and a foreign spy.

Muleface: Perfect! Maybe this will be enough to bring Trump down.

Hitman: Mr. Muleface, if I may, Sir; the evidence we have is misuse of campaign funds by the Clinton campaign.

Muleface: Oh, that’s not what we need. Just keep that quiet. Don’t discuss that with anyone. What we need is something that will destroy President Trump.

Hitman: Well, we might have something. There’s a man in South Florida, Senor Manuel, who has been Mr. Trump’s caddy for the past ten years, and he has told us he thinks Mr. Trump cheats at golf. He takes extra mulligans, and he says some members believe Mr. Trump’s balls are over-sized. Comments he often hears around the club are: “Man, Donald Trump has some balls.” “Who else has balls like that?” ‘I wish I had his balls!”

Muleface: Having big balls is not an impeachable offense. We’re going to need more than that. Find out if Senor Manuel has any relatives in the country that came here illegally and received special treatment.

And ad regurgitum