This explains Impeaching Trump, in a ‘nutshell’.

Cooter Bodean
Why in the hail do y’all wanna kick this President outta office? He’s got everbody workin’, economy’s good, wages is up, they’re makin’ stuff here again, and that little fat guy he’s meetin’ with stopped firing rockets, and stopped shootin’ his mouth off ‘bout attackin’ us. So, why do y’all wanna git ridda him?

Professor Numbnutz
Well, for one thing, he’s a racist.

Cooter 
Oh! Now see I didn’t know that. What’d he do that wuz racist?

Professor Numbnutz
Nothing yet, but he doesn’t want to let illegals vote.

Cooter
Well, if he ain’t actually done nothin’, and everthing’s good, why don’t y’all leave him alone?

Professor Numbnutz
Because we don’t like him. In fact, we hate him.

Cooter
What for?

Professor Numbnutz
Well, it’s difficult to explain, but mainly because he refuses to embrace socialism. He believes in free enterprise and capitalism, which makes him our enemy. We socialists are anti liberty and freedom.

gdavidhoward.com
G Spot Satire

Advertisements

Thingies, Gizmos and Passwords, Oh My!

I’m trying to keep up with the new smart stuff; I’d like to live in today’s world, not yesterday’s. But it’s getting cumbersome. By the time I think I understand one smart thingy, a new smart thingy comes on the market to replace the old smart thingy.  Then, what to do with the dumb thingy that got replaced by the smart thingy?  I have so many thingies that I need a thingy that tracks thingies.  That’s it; a thingy tracker is what I need!  I even have a thingy that makes the thingy I’m looking for beep, to help me find it. There are thingies in my house, thingies in my garage and thingies in my car.  I even have a thingy with all the passwords and PIN numbers I need to access my thingies.  One thingy leads to another thingy.  Maybe I’m not qualified to have smart thingies.

Climate Change Hysteria Don’t get Jussied© by this Hoax

The Queen of Happy Hour and the rest of the climate change alarmists know the establishment of environmental controls is a necessary cog in the giant socialist wheel they are turning. That’s why, when their global warming crap started getting debunked, they quickly changed to a catchall, ‘climate change’, which has also been debunked, but they demonize anyone who dares to question it. The socialists are enemies of free enterprise and will do anything to shut down, regulate, tax and take total control of industry and commerce. The acceptance of man-caused climate change as an absolute is paramount to their cause. Their much repeated talking points always include terms like “settled science”, or “overwhelming consensus”, neither of which is true, but it’s in the sermon.

Our planet survived the 1991 eruption of Mount Pinatubo, in the Philippines, which released thirty million tons of sulfur dioxide gas, resulting in the ozone hole expanding to an unprecedented size. But we’re still here. Hey Bronx Einstein, the world didn’t end. The 2010 eruption of Eyjafjallajökull, in Iceland, spewed nine hundred million kilograms of CO2 in six days; more CO2 than one million gas guzzling cars would emit in that same period of time. The planet has survived all of these destructive forces; plus atomic bomb explosions, tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, lightning storms, forest fires, earthquakes, mud slides, avalanches, etc., but animal farts will bring the rock to its end. What a bunch of wackos!

Really? Freedom loving people won’t buy into the transformation of America to a Socialist State, so the alarmists are using ‘anthropogenic climate change’ to scare people into accepting the failed ideology in the name of ‘saving the planet’. Hogwash! Trust me, none of this hysteria about the climate has anything to do with climate, or science, or the planet. It’s about, to quote Barack Obama, “the fundamental transformation of the United States of America” (into a Socialist/Communist country).

Build the Border Fence with money already pledged

Dec 18, 2018

MEXICO CITY (AP) —The United States pledged $5.8 billion in aid and investment Tuesday for strengthening government and economic development in Central America, and another $4.8 billion in development aid for southern Mexico. 

The U.S aid aims to promote better security conditions and job opportunities as part of a regional plan to allow Central Americans and Mexicans to remain in their countries and not have to emigrate.

The plan was announced in a joint U.S.-Mexican statement released by the State Department and read aloud by Mexican Foreign Relations Secretary Marcelo Ebrard in the Mexican capital.

Newly inaugurated President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador waxed poetic about the plan to provide jobs so people won’t have to emigrate.

“I have a dream that I want to see become a reality … that nobody will want to go work in the United States anymore,” Lopez Obrador said at a morning news conference before the announcement.

Letter to the President:

Mr. President, my suggestion is to engage President Obrador and Mexican business leaders like Carlos Slim, and offer to drop tariffs on Mexican Exports to the U. S. and other incentives, on the condition that $6B of the $10.6B already pledged aid to Central America and Mexico be used to fund the border fence.  Contract a company like Carlos Slim’s Grupo Carso, one of the top ten companies in Mexico, a global business conglomerate engaged in the industrial, retail, infrastructure and civil construction sectors, to build the border fence, to our specs, 10 centimeters (about twenty-four inches) SOUTH of the U.S.-Mexico border; hence, the balance of the barrier would be built entirely in Mexico.   This would employ Mexicans and Central Americans, who would otherwise be coming to the U. S. looking for work, and it would eliminate the need for our Federal Government to exercise emanate domain, purchase property rights, and defend lawsuits from groups fighting to protect the habitat of the three legged, one eared tit-mouse and burrowing dung beetles, the bleeding- heart social justice activists, the DNC and their illegal voter registration machine.

Let the Queen of Happy Hour, Brain-freeze Nancy and Sobbing Schemer try to stop that action.

Bottom line: Southern border secured, BY MEXICO, with NO U. S. government funding.  Job well done!  Bravo!  No muss no fuss.  Promise kept. 

Very respectfully yours,

G. David Howard

 

 

It’s all Russia’s fault

#TheHill cited a report in the #Russian government-operated RIA Novosti as saying they have a weapon called the ‘Filin’ that fires a beam resembling a strobe light. The weapon causes hallucinations and vomiting.

I learned from an anonymous source, which will not be named, that several prominent Americans might have been exposed to ‘Filin’. This could go a long way in explaining the irrational behavior of people like #RobertMueller#HillaryClinton
#MaxineWaters#NancyPelosi, a host of deep state #Obama left-overs, and many others afflicted with #TDS. ‘Filin’ may explain why the very mention of Trump’s name makes the #Hollywood pretenders and the mainstream media folks nearly ‘throw up’. All this time they thought it was #Trump who was making them sick.
gdavidhoward.com
G Spot Satire

Trump Haters Anonymous Meeting

I infiltrated a Trump Haters Anonymous meeting last week to find out if they are really trying to get over the result of the 2016 election and put it behind them.

One lady stood up, trembling as she spoke, and said, “I’m Looney and I’m a Trump-hater.” She had the support of the entire group, supposedly trying to regain mental stability, but it seemed to be more like a group effort to justify their hatred; especially when they broke into their chant: “MAWATOMO”, “MAWATOMO”, “MAWATOMO”. I asked one of the members, “What is MAWATOMO?” He said, “Oh that stands for ‘Make America Weak Again Throw Orange Man Out’!”

A fellow named Stu Pidd confided, “I’ve been coming to THA meetings for several months, and I still hate Trump.”

These people aren’t trying to stop hating Trump. They are instead, continuing to try to overturn the election. They’re so distraught they can’t speak without shaking, crying, or wetting themselves.

There was a student from UC Berkeley, M. Becile, sobbing as he spoke, with his face buried in his hands, saying, “I can’t stand to read about all the jobs that have been created since this loser took office; and the low unemployment numbers make me want to puke. Then, I see wages are going up for the first time in 18 years? Yuck! The economy is the best it has ever been and manufacturing jobs are coming back. That SOB is killing us. Now, for the first time in history, North Korea is willing to come to the table and ISIS lost their caliphate! This is all terrible news. I can’t take much more.”

The leader of this chapter of THA, Lou Zerr, tried to console M. Becile, by telling him, “We must keep a positive attitude, and hope the stock market crashes, putting the country into a deep depression, with millions of people unemployed, bread and soup lines everywhere you look, people losing their homes, and having their cars repossessed. At least we still have open border areas, and we must make sure there is no new border fence and thousands of illegal immigrants, terrorists, and MS-13 members will storm our southern border, creating total chaos. We have to hope for the misery index to reach an all-time high and with Pelosi and Schumer resisting Trump, we might be able to get rid of the SOB.”

With that inspiring speech, the entire group came to their feet, chanting, in unison, “MAWATOMO, MAWATOMO, MAWATOMO”
gdavidhowardcom
G Spot Satire