Chief Executives and Academic Fools

We have seen what happens when someone with zero executive experience, someone who never ran anything in their life, suddenly becomes a chief executive. As we now know, it’s a recipe for disaster. Now we’re looking at the possibility of doing the same thing, once again. We have two choices: an experienced chief executive who has created thousands of jobs and a vast business empire, or someone who has never created a job, never reached into her own pocket to meet a payroll, and who failed miserably when finally put in charge of something and left to her own vices, and who would tell a lie, even if the truth would be a better joke.

 Billary has now enlisted help from Elizabeth ‘Steep Cheeks’ Warren, purveyor of theoretical absolutes, who never started or grew a business, but rants about starting and growing businesses, which qualifies her to be the poster child for academic fools. People who pontificate on a subject, about which they have no first hand knowledge or personal experience, would be laughable, were it not for the fact that they are supported by fellow fools who actually believe them.

Ruffling Obama’s Feathers

Since the Brits approved withdrawing from the EU, a group of United States Senators and Representatives are anticipating America ending its relationship with the USIC (United States Islamist Cooperative). The coalition is being called the Mosque Caucus. The Constitutional Amendment is already in place that will allow voters to put an end to the USIC; The Twenty-second Amendment, which limits the President to no more that two four year terms, which will effectively end Obama’s reign as head of the USIC. The focus of the Mosque Caucus is to campaign for a presidential candidate, who will not favor Islamists over American citizens.

Making Billary Grate Again

Some public speakers have a speaking style, or voice, that is just plain annoying. Sarah Palin is a great example. I was, and still am, a supporter of Sarah Palin, who I find to be an attractive lady, and with whom I happen to agree politically. However, I have always said she needs to hire a voice coach. There’s something; I can’t quite put my finger on it, the pitch of her voice, inflection, tone, or whatever it is, there’s something about her voice that is very unpleasant. Then there’s Billary Clinton’s voice, and speaking style, that are like fingernails on a chalkboard, to me. Her speech coach, Lowden Shrill has been on vacation, but he’s back, and he will, no doubt, make Billary grate again.

Hillary Dealing With ISIS

I’m contemplating what a Hillary Clinton Presidency might be like, since she outlined how she thinks we should deal with our enemies.  According to Hillary, we need to respect our enemies and be able to empathize with them.  I suppose she might have a conversation with ISIS leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi that goes something like this:

 Hillary: “Mr. Baghdadi, you are one of the greatest terrorists of all time and we, in the United States, respect that.  And I was glad to learn that you are paying your Jihadists above minimum wage.” 

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi: “I am pleased that you have recognized my abilities, and I hope you understand that our goal is to kill all Americans and Jews.  By the way, you can just call me Al.” 

Hillary: “Well Al, we totally understand your hatred for all non-Muslims, and your need for beheadings and stonings.  These things are part of you storied culture, and we respect that.  But do you think we can find some middle ground?  Like putting a mutually agreed upon cap on beheadings, for example?  What if you limit your beheadings to one per month?  Would something like that work for you?”

Baghdadi answers, “If you would send us one Republican each month, that might work.”

Hillary: “Al, I can certainly empathize with that feeling.  I’ll see what I can do, if you will do me one favor.  Please tell all of the Americans that have converted to Jihad, and are in Syria fighting for you, the SEIU is willing to accept them as members and fund a pension plan for them.  I just wanted you to know that we respect you and fully understand your hatred of America.  We’ll talk again soon.” 

Hand-me-down Pecker

Last week, Thomas Manning received the first transplanted penis in the United States. One of the lead surgeons, Dr. Peter Graft, is pleased with how his patient is handling it. The identity of the penis donor has not been disclosed; however, it has been rumored that it might have been from recently deceased, Thor Luther, the brother of Peder Sans Johnson, both of whom died testate. 

The Islam/Muslim Booster Club

Attorney General Loretta ‘Between Meals’ Lynch, one of the key members of the Islam/Muslim Booster Club, announced that only redacted transcripts of the Orlando killer’s 9-1-1 calls will be released, omitting his pledges of allegiance to terrorist groups and any references to Islamic terrorism. The IMBC is certain that if the transcripts were released with references to ISIL and the mention of Islamic terrorism it would “revictimize those who went through this horror.” (Note – ‘revictimize’ is not a word, according to Webster’s and Random House dictionaries) In other words, IMBC was so concerned about what would befall the victims would be so horrific that there was no word to describe it, so they had to make up a word.

The IMBC, which is headquartered in the White House, and is run by President Obama, intends to prove that, somehow, the gun made the shooter shoot all those people.

Flatulence Obfuscation

Farting is basically an involuntary bodily function, and when you’re in one of those awkwardly quiet, social, business or church, environments, and you know it’s coming, what to do?  You can be proactive by suddenly starting a sing-along.  The best sing-along is The National Anthem.  “The Star Spangled Banner” gets everyone scrambling to their feet and gives you an opportunity to stand up, which will make it much easier to “cut one”, completely unnoticed; that is, if you’re able to keep a straight face when you get to “bombs bursting in air”.  I have tried other songs, in the past, such as “Ring of Fire”, “Thunder Road”, “Blowin’ in the Wind”, “Tutti Frutti”, and “Friends in Low Places”, but there are a couple of problems with those songs.  First of all, not everyone knows the words, and I usually get so tickled that I start laughing and end up cutting an extra one….. or two.  Whatever you do, don’t try the ‘one-cheek-sneak’.  That lean is a dead give away.  Start coughing, clearing your throat, or fake a big sneeze.  Anyone of those should cover the sound, unless you’ve been consuming some kind of fermented bow-bab juice.  In that case, you’re just going to have to let it go, and do a simple, “Excuse me”.

Kids Ask The Darndest Questions

      My granddaughter asked me, “Grandpa, what’s a Socialist?” I said, “It’s someone who believes in a political system based on a big government having absolute control of everything; businesses, incomes, private property, and even food and health care. It’s a person who advocates for a system that holds that one person’s production is of no more value than another’s non-production; a system where individual effort is unrewarded, and a person who is ambitious is considered greedy or selfish.”

     Then she said, “Well, what’s a Democrat?” I said, “It’s someone who believes in a political system based on a big government having absolute control of everything; businesses, incomes, private property, and even food and health care. It’s a person who advocates for a system that holds that one person’s production is of no more value than another’s non-production; a system where individual effort is unrewarded, and a person who is ambitious is considered greedy or selfish.”

Are There Really Any Unbiased People?

      To all the folks who have gotten a wedgie because Trump voiced his suspicion that the judge ruling on his case might be biased against him; my God people, grow up, take a deep breath, because you are making utter fools of yourselves. When people start hemorrhaging political correctness, they look like slobbering buffoons, who ‘feel’ the need to speak, only because they ‘sense’ that it’s what is expected of them, not necessarily because it is sincerely what they actually ‘think’. Do you honestly know anyone who is completely without bias, of any kind? If you do, then you’re looking at a person who has no opinion about anything.

     Admit it. We have all seen, and experienced biases since we were kids. Remember the kids that were obviously ‘the teacher’s pets’? I always knew that the ‘pet’ would get a better grade than most, especially on a subjective evaluation, such as an essay. And a person doesn’t lose their bias because they got a new job, or position. If judges are without bias, why is our Supreme Court split 4/4? And why is there so much concern about upcoming Supreme Court appointments? Of course judges have biases, and try as they may to be completely fair minded, I believe they can subconsciously lean one way, or the other. Bias can become part of one’s DNA.

Here is a copy of an Invitation to attend a reception honoring Judge Gonzalo Curiel from La Raza Lawyers Association, last June.

Judiciary Reception – RSVP today!

Jun 1, 2015 by Rodrigo Guevara

Please join us for the

San Diego La Raza Lawyers Association Judiciary Reception!

Date: May 25, 2016

Time: 5:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m.

Location: Klinedinst PC-501 W. Broadway, Suite 600, San Diego, CA 92101

RSVP to larazalawyers@gmail.com.

This year we are proud to be honoring Judge Gonzalo Curiel at our reception and recognizing him for his leadership and support to the community and to our Association.

       La Raza is a racist organization, which was championed by Che Guevara. La Raza Founder, José Angel Gutiérrez, whose mantra has been, “Kill the Gringos”, is one of the most notorious racists of all time. Being associated with this group is the moral equivalent of being an honorary member of the KKK and inviting David Duke over for dinner.  Yet in this conflict between Judge Curiel and Donald Trump, Trump is accused of being the racist and the Judge gets a pass. Really?

Here is a July 2, 2015 Press Release from the Hispanic National Bar Association, of which Judge Curiel is a member:

“The HNBA calls for a boycott of all of Trump business ventures, including golf courses, hotels, and restaurants. We salute NBC/Universal, Univision and Macy’s for ending their association with Trump, and we join them in standing up against bigotry and racist rhetoric. Other businesses and corporations should follow the lead of NBC/Universal, Univision and Macy’s and take similar actions against Donald Trump’s business interests. We can and will make a difference.”

            Judge Curiel is a member of an organization (HNBA), which has been boycotting everything Trump for nearly a year, and Trump is supposed to believe he will be treated fairly by this Judge?  The Donald might have said it awkwardly, but he has every right to be suspect, and I believe his attorneys should demand that Curiel recuse himself. Just sayin’…………….

 

 

 

 

History of The Stanley Cup

I’m sure we all have a few Stanley products; tape measures, staple guns, etc. But few people know that Stanley invented the first coffee cup, however  he didn’t put any handles on it, so you had to wait for the coffee to cool before picking up the cup.  Needless to say, Stanley’s cup didn’t catch on, until one day ol’ Stan was sitting there staring at his cup and realized there might be another use for his invention.  Because of it’s shape, it fit perfectly into the crotch area of the male anatomy, so men began to use the Stanley cup for protection anytime they were engaged in extreme physical activity.  The Stanley cup is still worn today by athletes in just about every sport, besides curling and synchronized swimming, but it is most popular in the sport of hockey.  The cup is so universally regarded that the professional championship hockey tournament is named after it.  If you are interested in details like this, you can get more info at my Comedy Show tonight at Sporty’s on the Beach.  For info and reservations, call 727-596-6725.