Hillbillies, Rednecks and Briarhoppers

 

I grew up in the wonderful small town of Middletown, Ohio. Our family was from Kentucky, and back in those days, Kentucky folks were called hillbillies, rednecks, or briarhoppers. There weren’t any distinctive qualities that set one group apart from the other, so I’m not sure exactly which group we were in. There wasn’t any kind of social order. I mean there wasn’t a Fraternal Order of Hillbillies, a Briarhoppers Club, or a Benevolent Order of Rednecks. We had no real identity, so I just tried to fit in wherever I felt comfortable. Middletown was such a great place, that I fit in and felt comfortable, pretty much everywhere. It was just that way, in Middletown, Ohio.

Time has passed, and I’m sure I still belong in one of those groups, but over the years, I think I have been steadily improving my standing within the social strata. Tonight, for example, I might have moved up to a new status; I may now qualify as a ‘Refined Briarhopper’, or maybe even as a ‘Sophisticated Redneck’, because tonight, the wife and I enjoyed a nice bottle of Merlot with our Stouffers’ Chicken Pot Pie dinner. As they would say in Butcher Holler, “It don’t get no better‘n that.” Just sayin’…………….

 

Post Election Protests

I was watching the video of the rioters on this past Inauguration Day. They were, breaking store windows, smashing car windows, knocking over trash cans, and blocking the street; they even set a car on fire. It reminded me of when the Republicans were so upset about losing to Obama in the 2008 election, they also formed a protest group, which was called the Tea Party, organized a mass demonstration in February of 2009, and behaved badly themselves.

They were carrying threatening signs that said ugly things like “Stop the Fiscal Madness”, and “Read My Lipstick! No More Bailouts!”. One of the more militant signs read, “Congress get your hand off my piggy bank”. They asked one protester why he was there, and knowing he was on live TV, unabashedly blurted out, “Frankly, I’m mad as hell!”.  It was shocking. One of the most tasteless things they had was a poster with a picture of Obama, that said, “Pin the tail on the jacka$$”.   I’m sorry, but that was just over the top, and the lady who had that sign almost got arrested.   There were other people who were completely out of control, chanting “Give me Liberty, not debt”. The police moved in and quieted them down, immediately.  There was a very visible, and fearless,  gang of women with posters that said, “The Pirates Are in D.C”.   Unbelieveable! Scary stuff!

So, it’s not just the Dems who protest when their candidate loses; the Republicans act out, as well

 

A Man Wearing Two Hats

 

Forty-three years ago, when I began my career as a Stand-up Comic, I decided that my audiences didn’t need to be subjected to my political point of view. That’s my own personal rule, and I still stick to it. The live comedy stage is where I totally escape from political punditry. It’s a release, of a sort, for me, and I think for my audiences, as well.

Facebook, on the other hand, is a medium where I can post funny stuff, if I feel like it, or where I can opine about social and political things. I am having the time of my life; both on stage and off. I’m having a blast with my two hats!

 

The Times in Which We Live

 

Fake News by G. David Howard

The intrigue surrounding Super Bowl LI is almost like a cloak and dagger, John le Carré spy story. It’s a given that the New England Patriots have a mole; hence the deflategate scandal.  Now, it has been leaked, by an anonymous source that coach Bill Belichick, has told his staff he will not accept a defeat in the upcoming Super Bowl.  If the Patriots are outscored by the Falcons, the team’s lawyers have prepared injunctions to be filed, in U. S. District Court, asking the court to withhold the presentation of the Championship Trophy until multiple lawsuits the team will file against the Officiating Crew, the National Football League, and Commissioner of the NFL, Roger Goodell, have been decided.  If they lose the game, the Patriots will demand the Championship Trophy be held in escrow, until all the legal challenges have been resolved. 

There has been a contentious relationship for years between the Canadian Football League and the NFL. Coach Belichick has always suspected the Canadians were responsible for the deflated footballs scandal. The Patriots believe the Canadian government may have paid other NFL teams’ players to purposely injure some of the Patriots’ star players, in an effort to put the Patriots and the NFL in a bad light.  Wiki-leaks is allegedly, in possession of emails between Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and several NFL players.  Julian Assange has promised to release the emails during the final two minute warning of the game.

In the event the Patriots lose, Coach Bill Belichick has asked George Soros and former President Barack Obama to help organize hundreds of thousands of volunteers; fans from Boston and the rest of New England, to demonstrate in front of NFL Headquarters on Park Avenue, in downtown Manhattan, demanding the Championship Trophy be awarded to the Patriots, because the team was interfered with by the Canadian government, and recent polls show that a majority of football fans believe the New England Patriots are better than the Atlanta Falcons. They also claim it would be racist if a team from the deep south were to win the Super Bowl.

 

 

 

Even With All the Vitriol, I Remain Celebratory

After eight long, suffering years, we can finally celebrate tomorrow. I’ll be toasting, while listening to the Beatles, “Say goodbye, I say hello.” It will be a festive and happy day, if we can ignore the hate from the left.  Just keep in mind:

The Libs, for the most part, are morally, and intellectually, bankrupt, with no ability to think rationally, or to behave in any kind of civil manner. They preach tolerance, but they’re totally intolerant of anyone who doesn’t ‘feel’ the same way they ‘feel’. The liberal ideology is born out of emotion, not objective thinking. They ‘feel’, as opposed to ‘think’, consequentially, their movement is anti-intellectual, based purely on emotion. When things don’t go their way, their only recourse is to fall back on the only tools they have; emotions and thuggery. With no ideas, all they can do is pout, hate, and to implement, or threaten, the use of physical force. Their predictability makes them easy to ignore, because they have made themselves irrelevant, just as the sophomoric, pouting Representatives who are boycotting the inauguration are doing. Their boycott is meaningless, because their absence from the ceremony will change nothing. Bless their hearts; maybe they mean well but just don’t know any better.

P.S. With all that said, I don’t take threats of violence lightly. I have never seen this kind of unhinged hatred over an election, in my lifetime; it’s borderline hysteria. As a matter of fact, if I were President Trump, I wouldn’t risk walking down Pennsylvania Ave.

P.P.S. Mr. President, I hope you don’t get out of your armor plated limo; stay safe!

 

While the Thumb Suckers Are Out of Town

I love it! If I were Trump, I would have #PaulRyan draft a bill that would be on something the Dems strongly oppose; like lowering the tax rate, term limits, dismantling the #CongressionalBlackCaucus (It’s very existence, IMO, violates the 1964 #CivilRightsAct, anyway), funding the border wall, whatever, something; a short, quick piece of legislation. Have it ready to vote on by Friday, and right after the swearing in ceremony, I would call an emergency session of the House for a vote, Friday night, while those sixty, anti American, thumb suckers are out of town. That’s what I’d do. Just sayin’………………

 

President Out of Control

 

President Obama expelled diplomats and placed sanctions on Russia because some private emails; non-government documents, were made public. The release of said docs may, or may not, have favored, or disfavored, a particular candidate in a political race, and none of the stolen docs breached national security, or caused any deaths, but in Obama’s judgment, this was the penultimate crime.

Bradley Manning, on the other hand, knowingly gave intelligence to the enemy, aided the enemy, embezzled and stole Public Money, Property or Records. Below is a partial list of the 750,000 Government docs, not private correspondence, Manning gave to the enemy:
• The Reykjavic 13 cable
• Iraq War documents leak
• Afghan War documents leak
• Granai airstrike video
• The 2007 July 12 Baghdad airstrike video
• US State Department cables, unclassified and classified
• Records from a US Southern Command database
• United States Forces – Iraq email address list
• Records from United States Army Intelligence and Security Command

For all of this, Manning was not only the recipient of very expensive transgender surgery, at taxpayers’ expense; he has now been awarded special consideration by President Obama.

Obama has always favored those who don’t really like America very much, those who might be a threat to America, those who break our laws, and those who hate the police.

Luckily, we have survived 8 years of this anti-American menace. We’re not out of the woods yet, and if he doesn’t have another last minute dirty trick up his sleeve, we’ve only got about 48 hours to go.

 

Shoot The Messenger/Dumbass Syndrome

The Dems, along with the Media, actually one and the same, are making utter fools of themselves over this election. They are doggedly perpetuating the classically ignorant act of ‘shooting the messenger’, by continuing to blame Trump’s victory on the Russians.  After all, it was what was IN the emails that may, or may not, have damaged Clinton.  HOW the emails were obtained is totally irrelevant.  The responsible parties are:
1) Clinton, for setting up an unsecure server
2) Obama, for not requiring Hillary to switch to a .gov account (He knew she was using a .com account)
3) The author(s) of the damaging emails.
Had Hillary and Podesta, et al not committed, and then written about, highly questionable, and possibly illegal, activities, none of this would have happened, yet all the finger pointing is aimed at the messenger, not the perps.

The Dems and the Media have contracted a serious case of Dumbass. The Dumbass Syndrome is communicable. Narrow-minded people are most vulnerable to catching Dumbass Syndrome, as are small-minded and prejudiced people. Those afflicted with a case of Dumbass are advised to stay away from social media, microphones, video cameras, and all other recording devices, and to disassociate themselves from any known carriers.  Experts further advise that people who have a case of Dumbass should try to be very quiet, say very little, and if possible, learn ASL so they can communicate with sign language only.  If they’re quiet, fewer people will know they’re contaminated.

 

Hate Crimes -Really?

It makes absolutely no sense that the level of punishment, for a crime, should be based on why the perpetrator committed the crime. Is there such a thing as an acceptable reason? Can there be a politically correct murder, or beating? What the barack?

 In other words, if a criminal killed someone simply because he was pissed off, or for money, or jealousy, or whatever; the punishment would not be as severe as if he had killed that person because of sexual orientation, religion, race, or ethnicity.

 

Surely there are more than four groups against whom people might have a bias. What about an environmentalist shooting a lumberjack? A hate crime? When the PETA loons attack someone wearing fur; hate crime? There must be varying degrees of hate. There could be a first degree hate crime, or a second degree hate crime, if the perpetrator just abhors, or detests, the victim.  That’s it!  It would be an ‘abhor’, or a ‘detest’ crime.

 

If a person attacks someone he simply ‘doesn’t like’, that should be a lesser crime. It would be a ‘dislike’ crime, as opposed to a full blown ‘hate’ crime. A ‘dislike’ crime wouldn’t be as serious as a ‘hate’ crime, do you think?

 

What about an ‘I didn’t care for him’ crime? That would probably be a misdemeanor. How about a, ‘he just wasn’t my cup of tea’ crime?  Community service, maybe.

 

Never attack anyone for the wrong reason.   If someone attacked a Gay African-American Muslim, would the authorities try to determine whether the attacker hated only one of those groups, or all three?  If he hated all three, could he be charged with three hate crimes?   There might be an attempt to find out which group the attacker hated the most, on the hate meter. (Do they have a hate meter? I’ll bet they get a hate meter.) The very idea, in my opinion, is inane. The whole country has gone baracking nuts!  Give me a baracking break!

 

SCREW U

The demand for craftsmen (‘crafts persons’, in timid-speak); people schooled, and skilled, in the field of Manual Arts has been at the forefront of America’s needs. The good news is that a new, cutting edge University is going to be built in Pinellas Park, Florida.   The new institution is the ‘Scienctific Construction Remodeling Erecting and Welding University’, affectionately referred to as SCREW U.   SCREW U will be a four year school, offering degrees in all phases of construction.   High school students are excited about it because when their upitty Ivy League bound classmates ask, “Where are you going to go to school?” They can proudly say, “SCREW U!”

The university will have an athletic program, complete with cheerleaders and a first class marching band.   It’s anticipated that the fans will go berserk when the band spells out “SCREW U”, in the middle of the football field; especially at away games.  An athletic conference has not yet been established.   Some schools have said they won’t play SCREW U.   The President of Oral Roberts University said, “There is no way Oral Roberts will ever play SCREW U.”   Even Florida State University has said they won’t put SCREW U on their schedule.   The coach said, “I can’t put my Seminoles out there on the field against a bunch of guys with SCREW U on their jerseys.” It would be great if they could get into the ACC.   I think a SCREW U/Blue Devils game would get a huge audience.   It’s hopeful they will eventually be accepted into a first class athletic conference.

This writer is wishing SCREW U much success, and God’s speed.

Go SCREW U!