The Humane Way to Secure the Border

Why not fence in about a two mile wide swath along the border, and create a 2,000 mile long wild animal sanctuary with bougainvillea planted all along the fence row? Populate the sanctuary with hundreds of mountain lions, timber wolves, grey wolves, coyotes, herds of bison, elk, moose, black bears, brown bears, grizzly bears, rattlesnake pits, copperhead areas, coral snakes, cotton mouths, pythons, anacondas, alligator ponds, Yellow Jacket and Hornet hives, Black Widow spiders, Brown Recluse spiders, Scorpions, and wild boar.

We could provide sanctuary for endangered, threatened, or vulnerable species, while securing the border for a fraction of the cost of constructing a wall, and cheaper than mowing the grass. I think people would be willing to pay a price to go through an F.D.A. feed supply station and feed the animals, under the supervision of U.S. Border Patrol, of course. This could become a new source of revenue.

Want to climb over that fence? No way Jose!

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Oh no, not another Olympic scandal!

The U.S Men’s Curling team will be facing Sweden for the Gold, but Sweden’s star Sweeper is being investigated for putting glycerin on the end of his sveper, and their “Skip” is being accused of rubbing K-Y Jelly on his stones.

Is President Trump Being Setup?

When all else fails and there is no evidence of wrongdoing, there are some people who might resort to coercion to get the person they’re after.

Paul Manafort and Rick Gates, if found guilty of these new charges, are looking at millions of dollars in fines, and more importantly, decades in prison. I don’t know much about the character of either of these men, but from what is publicly known about Manafort, ‘honorable’ and ‘trustworthy’ are not adjectives that come to my mind.

Let’s make a deal!??!

What if Special Counsel Robert Mueller were to say, “Mr. Manafort, make up a whopper; one that would prove collusion between Russia and President Trump, swear to it, and I will reduce the charges and make sure you get no more than a slap on the wrist; a small fine and probation, perhaps. Mr. Gates, I will make you the same offer if you corroborate Mr. Manafort’s statement.”

How long do you think it would take them to write a humdinger of a story? I’m talking about a script that would rival Ian Fleming’s best work. It could happen.

Just sayin’……………

Why the Winter Olympics Don’t Work Well on the Radio

I was in my office writing last night and Dana was in the family room watching TV, but it was loud enough that I was able to pick up on some of the audio.  My God, all the grabbing that was going on;  there were truck driver grabs, tail grabs, you grabs, and then corkscrews, triple corkscrews, kinked rails and lips, half pipes, super pipes, half ins and half outs, hole shots, booters, unnatural spreads, and flat bottoms.  Some with amplitude!  I thought, “What the hell kind of movie is she watching?”  I rushed into the family room, only to find out she was watching Olympic Skiing.

Controversy Surrounds Swedish Curling Team

The Sweepers for Sweden’s number one curling team, Olga Bruum and her sister, Wisk Bruum, have developed a new technique, which they call ‘Dusping’. ‘Dusping’, as they like to call it, involves combining the procedures for dusting and sweeping into a new hybrid technique. Olympics officials haven’t decided if this new technique is legal. They have been tirelessly watching slow motion videos from the practice rounds, studying all the nuances of this new “dusping’ technique, in an effort to determine if there is anything in this hybrid that violates International Curling Rules.

 
Footnote: It can take up to several hours to watch a curling match in slow motion, and it can take days if there is the need for rewinding any of the footage. 

How Did Nancy Pelosi Do That Speech?

Nancy Pelosi was asked how, at her age, she was able to stand up and speak for more than 8 hours. She said, “I had a lot of help. I couldn’t have done it without my Depends and special underwear. I was peeing myself much of the time.

I started talking about wops, and since I had been talking about the Dreamers, it naturally made me think of wetbacks. You know, wops, wetbacks; well, that got me going, if you get my drift. And then, every time I looked at Maxine Waters I couldn’t hold it.  The very thought of wetbacks and Waters made me pee. I was pissing up a storm.”

Waiting for the Curling Matches

The other day I was thinking about how exciting the Winter Olympics can be. I remembered the 2014 Winter Games, in Sochi, and the winning Swedish Women’s Curling Team. I watched the final match in slow motion, so I could really see the nuances of the sweeping technique. It took two and a half days for me to watch the entire match.

Sweden had probably the best Sweeper of all time, Olga Bruum. My goodness could that woman sweep. Olga’s fans went crazy; they were chanting “sopa, sopa, sopa”, and man, did Olga ever step up. She became a sweeping monster. Olga Bruum used the old style left-hand ‘claw’ grip on top and the underhanded ‘choke’ grip, with the right hand, near the bottom of the broom handle. Her control of the broom was remarkable. She was able to keep the bristles a mere millimeter ahead of a 40 pound stone hurtling down the ice. Olga’s performance was so dominant that she really didn’t need the co-sweeper, her sister, Wisk Bruum. What a great match that was!

I can’t wait to watch this year’s Curling Champions and compare them to 2014’s warriors.