Was it a smile or a smirk? (Satire)

Facial expression experts are studying the video of Nick Sandmann’s interaction with Native American Nathan Phillips. Facial Forensics expert Ima Prig reports that studying the video in slow motion reveals evidence not seen in real time. For instance, in slow motion, it discloses at one point, what appeared to be a subtle curl of the lip by Sandmann. A lip curl is an integral part of a smirk, and is considered the ultimate display of disrespect. There were also moments when the student appeared to frown, which is tantamount to punching someone in the face. Ima Prig will continue examining the video looking for other incriminating expressions, such as a glare, a grimace, or for what is known in Facial Forensics as a “long face”.

Rep. Ocasio-Cortez said, “If Nick Sandmann did, in fact, curl his lip, he should be fined Ten Zillion Dollars, sentenced to 5 years in prison, and be required to participate in least one powwow a year for the rest of his life.” Sen. Warren agreed, saying, “I’ll go get me a glass and drink to that.”
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G Spot Satire

 

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Student at Covington Catholic to face charges (Satire)

Nick Sandman, who stood facing Native American Nathan Phillips, will be charged with Inappropriate Smiling, First Degree Smirking, and failure to yield his personal space to Mr. Phillips.  All charges are misdemeanors and no jail time is expected.   

 P.S.  It should be noted that Nick Sandman has refused to apologize to Mr. Phillips and he feels no remorse for harassing the Native American in such a belligerent manner.

No more Toxic Masculinity for me!

I just got back from my test for toxic masculinity. Great news! I am toxic free. I still have a modicum of masculinity, but not a trace of toxicity. My level of masculinity is manageable and barely noticeable, unless I start to swagger. The most important thing is; no more anti-toxin classes will be required. As long as I remember not to swagger, I’m good to go out in public and socialize with other non-toxic people.

In Innocuous Masculinity 101 classes, they re-trained us in our walking styles, to assure we don’t swagger, or strut. They taught us a lot of things to do, like lifting our little finger off the wine glass, and holding it in the air while ‘sipping’, as opposed to ‘slurping’.

We even had controlled belch training, and extensive training on toxic flatulence. For example, when you feel one coming, start a sing-along. The best sing-along is The National Anthem. “The Star Spangled Banner” gets everyone scrambling to their feet and gives you an opportunity to stand up, which will make it much easier to “cut one”, completely unnoticed; that is, if you’re able to keep a straight face when you get to “bombs bursting in air”. I’ve tried other songs, such as “Ring of Fire”, “Thunder Road”, “Blowin’ in the Wind”, “Tutti Frutti”, and “Friends in Low Places”, but there are a couple of problems with those songs. First of all, not everyone knows the words, and I usually get tickled, start laughing and end up cutting an extra one. Whatever you do, don’t try the ‘one-cheek-sneak’. That lean is a dead give away. Start coughing, clearing your throat, or fake a big loud sneeze.
gdavidhoward.com
G Spot Satire

Concerning a Border Barrier, which side has the most logical reasoning?

Top Ten Reasons FOR a Border Barrier

  1. Border Patrol Agents say a barrier is necessary and will help them immensely.

  2. In areas where there are already barriers, illegal immigration has dropped by more than 90%.

  3. A country cannot remain a sovereign without border control.

  4. It will reduce the flow of illicit drugs into the country.

  5. It will make it harder for terrorists and gang members to enter the country.

  6. It will deter human smuggling.

  7. Israel’s wall has reduced illegal entry to zero.

  8. The border fence in Hungary has all but ended illegal immigration.

  9. Border fences or walls have proved to be effective almost everywhere they have been erected.

  10. It will make America more secure and our citizens safer.

Dem/Socialists Top Ten Reasons AGAINST a Border Barrier

  1. We vowed to resist anything and everything proposed by DONALD TRUMP.

  2. We hate DONALD TRUMP.

  3. We will not allow DONALD TRUMP to succeed at anything, even if it’s for the good of the country.

  4. We still cannot accept the result of the 2016 election; DONALD TRUMP should not be our President.

  5. DONALD TRUMP has said things we don’t like.

  6. DONALD TRUMP is a bully.

  7. We don’t like DONALD TRUMP’S family.

  8. DONALD TRUMP should be impeached.

  9. We can’t allow DONALD TRUMP to have a victory.

  10. DONALD TRUMP sucks.So there you have it!

 

Don’t take unstable people seriously

I usually don’t respond to, or argue with, people who are in an advanced stage of TDS.  These folks are indeed deranged.  It’s a waste of time to debate, or try to reason with, mentally unstable people, so when they post their MSNBC and CNN pablum, I just laugh at their sophomoric, hackneyed, and predictable diatribe, and move on.  It’s not only fun, but it’s good for the soul.  Try it; it will lighten your day when you stop taking mentally unstable people seriously.

How good is Maxine with numbers? She is one of the Dems’ best and brightest.

Maxine Waters is going to Chair the powerful House Financial Services Committee, overseeing banks, Wall Street, and virtually all financial institutions. So how adroit is Rep. Waters with numbers? Here’s one example.

Talking to MSNBC’s Chris Hayes July 6, 2017, Maxine Waters said, “Take, for example, the state of Kentucky. Almost ONE-THIRD of those people in that state are covered by Medicaid, and so they’re talking about eliminating 700 BILLION in … uh …Trumpcare bill.” www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ndt0qM05cIg

So, according to Maxine, one third of the people in Kentucky; 700 BILLION, to be exact, will lose their health insurance due to ‘Trumpcare’.  According to Maxine’s numbers, Kentucky is a state with a population of 2.1 TRILLION (that would be 50 MILLION people per square mile). With that kind of congestion, it could take a year or more, for a patient to get to their Doctor’s office, even if it’s only 2 or 3 miles away. The drive-thru at a Walgreens in Lexington could have a line of cars extending all the way to southern Alabama.

Prescription drugs, groceries, and supplies would have to be delivered by drones. How many drones would it take to service all of Kentucky’s 2 TRILLION people, and would there be Drone Traffic Control Towers all over the state?

Planned Parenthood volunteers would have to deliver free birth control pills and condoms during ‘Hillbilly Fever Season’, when the men run around naked, shouting, “Whoopee, I’m a rooster, cock-a-day’ll-do.”

Fasten your seat belts kids, this could be a rough ride.

 

Gillette is taking on ‘toxic masculinity’

#Gillette is volunteering to help monitor the #toxicmasculinity epidemic and work on a cure. The shaving giant will be assisted by the Pronoun Police and the #MeTooPussyPosse. Their theme song will be #ShaniaTwain’s “Any Man of Mine (Better walk the line)”.

Men can reduce their toxicity by 50%, or more, by enrolling in knitting and crocheting classes, competing in Quilting Bees, and drinking Cosmos, Pina Coladas, and Fuzzy Navels, instead of Manhattans, Martinis, and Snake Bites.

Word of Warning: Men, you can be penalized for flipping off a rude driver, or for pulling your skivvies out of your crotch in public. Picking your nose and farting loudly are also taboo; either one can put a guy in Toxic Masculinity Exile.
G Spot Satire
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